I think this whole thread exemplifies why the problem exists. Since those who experience life outside of "normal" gender associations all want to use their own terms to describe themselves and their point of view, there is no standard definition for Transgender anymore. As has been pointed out, today's media no longer wishes to take the time to explain nuance to an audience with the attention span of a gnat, so they went with the definition provided by a vocal sub-group, transexuals who objected to the term feeling it distracted from the seriousness of their experience. So if anyone is looking to blame anyone for this state of confusion there is enough to go around.
I think Isha's position is best. Let people who hear the word transgender ask if you are planning to transition then take the time to explain the broader meaning and how it applies to you. It can be exhausting and feel like you are having the same conversation over and over again, but it represents an opportunity to build a relatinship with a person that may lead to greater acceptance.
