Hi GM,

I am somewhat reticent to post on this part of the forum because I am not TS and my experiences are completely different from those who have or are transitioning. So if any take offence, it is not meant that way but to be honest, given my personal circumstances, I really don't know where I fit anymore on this broad spectrum. Someone once used the term "tranny grenade" and given my current work environment, it seemed apropos to utilize that phrase to describe my own understanding of "to transition or not". I describe myself as "gender fluid" in the sense that some days I identify as a man and others I identify as a woman. On the days I identify as a woman (and these can stretch into several - currently so), I live the entire day as a woman including going to work, doing everyday things and in the evening with my wife (have been doing so for the last 3 days). So in a way I have the "tranny grenade" in my hand to some extent have pulled the pin. Funny thing about grenades though, until you release the lever, it won't arm so I have a firm grasp on the lever waiting to throw.

I will admit there are days where the necessity to present as a woman is so strong that to not do so would leave me emotionally crippled but then again there are days where the thought of presenting as a woman holds not compulsion whatsoever. I don't mix dress and I am either man or woman but never a mixture of both (presentation wise as I am the same person irrespective of how I am dressed). Will I ever transition? To be honest, I can't say I will or will not. I do know that I have no issues with any of my male physiology (with the exception of facial and body hair) and I do like my guy side and am not quite ready to bury him.

So as to the OPs question, to transition or not. IMHO I think each person will know when they have to transition as it will be unbearable to not do so and live life as you need to. As for me . . . back to the grenade analogy . . . funny thing about levers, you can pull the pin and hold the lever down but on those rare occasions, you could accidently trip the charge and even holding the lever down will not prevent the grenade from going off. So I guess I am in a hold pattern . . . still waiting to throw or not.


Cheers

Isha