Marleena, a lot of what you posted is sort of where I am coming from in this thread. For whatever reason, those of us who held in our gender issues or identity for decades and built an entire life and family, then have to choose which pain to deal with. Perhaps in the case of several here who have transitioned or are in the process of it later in life (40+) y/o the pain of dealing with such a drastic life altering path is less severe than staying as they are, or were. In these cases, the choice was not really a choice. In order to have any type of life at all, transition is a must. I think basically, many of the people here who have gone through this finally convinced themselves that they could not undo the femininity, or that of identifying as a woman. Or realized after so long that life would always be a misery without transitioning.
Granted, today there is a slightly better acceptance of being TG. Especially among the younger generation. More and more parents are now accepting their children who are wishing to live authentically. What would make them any different than of a mid life transitioner? Many here at the time attempted to choose the path of their birth gender. For someone say 20, without as much society pressure as there was, and without consideration of a decades long career, a partner who they have been with for decades. Kids in school, maybe college (and the need for money to allow them to continue) Life long friends etc etc. Potentially giving up most or all of that, is a clear indication of having to. But, for the younger TG, with little to give up in life, they could look at life as thinking, I am better off as a woman, more like one, so my quality of life is simply better. It would not really be a true having to for some, just a better way of living. They will end up saving themselves countless years of discomfort if not misery. Eventually, the ability to maintain a life through the discomfort and misery will diminish until it is no longer something that can be dealt with. I believe that is what many later in life transitioners go through. They just run out of the ability to live life as the wrong gender.
I would definitely agree that someone in mid life should have to in order to do so. Otherwise I believe the transition would go horribly. I would think that the losses would be overwhelming if it wasn't a have to situation. Or that they would never be certain they were doing or did the right thing.
