Reine,
First point about wearing nighties, she neither wants to see me or touch when wearing them even though we sleep in the same bed. She has moved the goal posts on most things and approving of me going out to support groups is another of them ,as is dressing in the house when she was home.
Maybe I've misunderstood what GD means but I thought it meant to be uncertain about gender traits rather than believing I'm TS.
Her interpretation of living like a woman is to dress full time not to making physical changes so using other labels with her would not make sense, unless a counsellor had been allowed to explain it all to her. I'm not that naive to think dressing full time is a bed of roses everytime I think of it I realise the difficulties to overcome.

Ok I am confused by my mental state but certainly would not go pumping any chemicals into my body unless I was certain that is what I really want.

Point taken about your full description of sexual preferences, all I know is something is screwing me up and has been for most of my life, maybe I'm pinning too much on my current counselling sessions, but I can only make decisions if I can see things clearer !

Last time I was on Prozac I felt OK about my dressing, but when my wife asked what sort of day I'd had, I would tell her if I had the need to dress or not, if I did how much better I felt, eventually she tired of it and didn't want to hear it , despite seeing me with a smile on my face.
This point about retirement was discussed recently, all she said was we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, end of discussion.

Reine you may recall that I mentioned I haven't had a sex life for almost ten years , not even intimate contact ! My wife has no doubts that I would find someone else if we parted she knows what I'm like . She's told everyone that she's made sure that her savings and valuables will go to the children and not to any new partner of mine should anything happen to her !
Separation is never good but when children are involved it's much harder, of course it's going to tear me apart if I lose contact with my grandchildren, my son and daughter have assured me it won't happen , it's good to hear that but there aren't any guarantees.
At sixty four I should have a choice how I want to live, my counsellor is concerned at the level of suppression I'm living with, I can't say exactly which direction my life would take, all I know at the moment is I have no direction because I'm going round in circles .
I've said this before but I feel my wife is using my CDing as an excuse to treat me like a punchbag, if other parts of our marriage were OK I could live with that , because for whatever reason I'm not functioning anymore, comments like I just want the man I married are hard to take when I can't respond.