There is nothing to be ashamed of, Ashley. Talk to your therapist. She isn't going to push hormones down your throat. If you feel you are a woman, and feel they will help you, try them. There really is no shame in any of this.
As for feeling helpless, yup, I get that. My gender was vastly beyond my power. So far beyond it that if I didn't transition, it would've destroyed me.
Your forum avatar, depression, anxeity, and your general tone remind me of what I went through nearly three years ago. That doesn't mean you are a transsexual, but they are indicators that you are wise to go to a therapist. And yes, I was deeply ashamed about this. And I felt soul-crushing guilt and remorse on top of it too because of my wife and children.
The severity of your distress over your gender makes does not sound like what most of the CDs here experience though. You are astute to observe that. I noticed that too about myself.
If I could make a suggestion, why don't you print off the threads where you've processed this stuff, and show them to your therapist? That way she can maybe have an idea of where you are going, even if you still can't say the words yourself.
