Helena - welcome to the Forum! The best place to learn and feel accepted for who you are, whatever that may be.
So you do not think you are a woman, so not a transsexual. You like the feminine aspects of what society says are woman's things - pantyhose, heels, nail polish. I also would prefer that society did not care who used those.
You say you want to go into "full girl mode", but also slow and steady. One option into "full girl mode" is to arrange a transformation session where an experienced person helps you dress and does your makeup and takes pictures. This will quickly show you what is possible without you having to buy much. People here may have suggestions where to go near you. Or for slow and steady, hosiery and painted toes is easy way to restart. You mention a girlfriend - if she would be supportive, then letting her set a pace that she is comfortable with would also be a great way to build a fantastic relationship. You also need to decide what look you are going for - blendable or more fashionable or retro looks.
Hugs, Ellen
