If I were dating I would say genderfluid on the dating site, or if it a chance meeting, do or say something to communicate that. Genderfluid is manageable, understandable, etc, and crossdressing as part of that is really not surprising or destabilizing. Coning out of nowhere and saying we have what basically sounds like a fetish for clothing is not going to win any one's confidence, as it is too oversimplified, as fetishes are. It means we are not part of a relationship any more.

Women are people, seeking relationship, and want the best all around package they can get. But having room for their mate to be genderfluid is essential, and if that is true, the details TBA will be fine.

and full communication are the basis of a good long term relationship, and concentrating on the fundamentals of the relationship is essential. Put yourself in the shoes of a woman- you want a man who appreciates you as you see yourself, and your conflicts, doubts, possible changes ahead, etc. Showing that to a woman, as opposed to simply posturing as a courting man does- seeing her best self image and wanting that- you will show that you are mature and sensitive and flexible. This is what we need from them as well!

As a type of woman I can say it doesn't bother me if a man wants to put on my clothes and ... the question is what then- does he become far away and lost in a fantasy of objectification, or does he then behave more femininely, which I understand, and having seen both sides of him, I am not threatened by that. I am genderfluid too, so I can feel the ebb and flow of gender, and be able, as many women do, say that I want my man back enough of the time.

So that leads us to love responsibiy, i.e. to know as best we can if we are genderfluid, or really TS to the point of not wanting to be a man anymore. This is hard for us to know, but when we do it seems we can admit it! But whatever we are, we need to show, not tell. Telling a woman about something she can't see isn't helpful, it is more like hiding it.

Because most of us have been in the closet so long we can only understand relief by dressing up, and this ironically makes it about clothes rather than personality, which works against us in finding relationship. So if we can't just own our look and be out, the next best advice is to push our drab femme expression as far as we can while prospecting. IT is enough of a clue to warn off women who don't want to explore. In the 60s one pierced ear was a silent signal that a man was gay. Today, we can signal who we are without narrowing down our gate to be about our clothing desires. It is important to us, yes, but it is the tip of a genderfluid iceberg, and it is the iceberg we need to expose to become interesting partners for those who are themselves genderfluid, not the tip!

Think of it this way- you meet a girl who is nice and interesting, but what she wants is to show you a pic of her 'packing' [simulating a penis to fill out her pants and show she has something down there]. Of course, you are sympathetic, but you would wonder whether this image is clouding her mind so much that is the first thing she wants to talk about. You wonder whether she has thought through how this might look to you as a suitor. Hmmm. Ok, she has issues, who doesn't. You might want to try to rescue her, or you might think, "Maybe I'll look around a bit more..."

Now suppose you had just been on a week long mountain climbing expedition, and she surprised you by being one heck of a daredevil climber and saved you in a fall by quick thinking and technical expertise. You held her up, too, and you followed her lead. You admitted being cold and she did too. You have begun to notice her strong hands and her easygoing camaraderie- her jokes and her stories about being the youngest child in a family and a bit of an outcast. She asks a lot of questions about you and asks about your feelings about things in a very sweet way.

Now how do you feel when she is showing you pics of her life, and then pauses, before the last one, and says, 'here is something that I do sometimes..., ready? ' and looks at you with trust, and the peace of sharing with someone with whom you have a common set of bonds and emotional give and take.