It seems to me that you have told her a lot already. Mentioning that premarital cross dressing experience and the m/m encounter really has to have left an impression. That is not something anyone would forget. So, I think its fair to say that she has been told about your inclinations. Now, it is fair for her to know that these have not disappeared, but that you have honored your commitment to her and will continue to do so. At the same time, its reasonable to let her know that you are still the person you were more than seven years ago, and that cross dressing remains an important part of who you are.
I hope the conversations go well for you both.
