I think you did good by telling your wife. No wife should be in ignorance of CDing. However the timing is very important in this matter. I think a good advice should be added to your previous list : prepare your coming out and choose your moment to reveal. A quiet moment when your SO is relaxed and when you are able to spend time together.
For the record, I am a GG still struggling with the coming out of her hubby. I empathise with your wife feeling cheated.
Good luck to you both.
