The cat is out of the bag ...

[Dutchess]

If I hadn't said yes and then gone on to explain she would never have been able to trust me again.

Oh there are going to be trust issues , I have been in her shoes .

Looking back I wonder whether I should have told her at the start when I first got the feeling.

Would have been helpful yes .

However I didn't know where it was going to lead and thought that it might just blow over. Once hooked it was then how to bring up and there were other bigger reasons not to.

Doesnt matter , I get so worn of people using this an an excuse , next she will be vilified if she doesn't fall right in line . This is actually a big thing .