Quote Originally Posted by TOKEMO View Post

The reason why I'm posting here is to see if anyone has felt as lost as I do and maybe be able to help me finally figure out who I truly am.
Welcome, Tokemo.

At one point or another, virtually everyone here has felt that way. Some still do, but you will find that the support here can go a long way if you are truly desirous of finding out who you really are.

Knowing nothing more about you, I can't offer much specific advice, but I can echo what is perhaps the most important thing you will ever learn here. There is nothing "wrong" with you. You are not "abnormal". Unusual, yes, but there is a normally occurring incidence of gender non-conforming behavior/identity in any human population.

You may, or may not, have reason to be closeted. That's a judgement for you to make, considering your social standing, career, relationships, etc.

Lastly, we can share our experiences, but in the end, it is you who must figure out "who you truly are". For that, counseling (with someone qualified to deal with gender identity issues) will be the shortest path.