Rachel, By now, you’ve certainly gotten a broad spectrum of advice. And you’re probably seeing how our personal biases influence how we look at the situations of others. Sometimes, its painfully obvious that the person offering advice is projecting their situation onto your’s.
For example, if they walked away from a marriage they may readily justify their choice, and suggest dissolution in a rather cavalier manner. Conversely, someone like me might still be questioning or in a sense trying to atone for their own past mistakes by channeling that regret through you. Yes, I admit that my view of your situation is invariably tainted by my experience. Always consider such biases as you ponder advice.
So, with that in mind, I do applaud you for helping your wife with her home repairs. I did much the same thing...several times. I hope she appreciates it and I hope that it helps. But at the same time, be wary of setting yourself up with false hopes and unrealistic expectations. There is even even a risk of generating a sense of entitlement, as though you might earn back what you have lost.
