I'm going to try and focus. On what? I'm not certain.
Alone time has been fleeting in a pandemic world. Even more so as the kids get older and their comings and goings are much less predictable. There was a time where a free couple of hours would have been seized to "express myself". OK, let's be real. Play dress-up.
I had that opportunity earlier this week. Couldn't be bothered in the least bit.
What is the strangest about everything I am experiencing right now is that my brain has a fond recollection of each and every experience within a female experience. Although the female perspective remains, the experience part has taken a back seat to...life. My perspective is the same but I am no longer chained to a longing for more.
Many here might find what I am describing to be a horrifying nightmare. Trust me, a few years ago I'd have said that very thing. instead, I feel strangely blessed. I am not repulsed by who I am. I'm simply no longer wrapped up in trying to express myself in that way.
I want it now, I want it now
Not the promises of what tomorrow brings
I need to live in dreams today
I'm tired of the song that sorrow sings
And I want more than I can get
Just trying to, trying to, trying to forget
Nothing ever lasts forever
Nothing ever lasts forever
