Jessica,
Many people here experience the feelings you are talking about, me included.
Taking the next steps in the self discovery of this side of you is scary and can have some negative consequences, especially if you subconsciously are already looking for bad things to potentially happen.
I would highly recommend dipping your toes in the "going out" water by attending an event where the risk of issues is low and the chance of acceptance is high. I believe the Keystone Conference is coming up in a few weeks and I cant think of a better scenario for you to be out among people who are guaranteed to accept you.
Without having to worry about the acceptance part of the outing, you can focus on enjoying yourself, work on your presentation when out among other people and so on.
Many years ago I went to Southern Comfort Conference (SCC) in Atlanta and had an absolutely wonderful time. I had been out a number of times before that, but I had almost always had the same thoughts and concerns you express. At SCC there was none of that for me and it was just lovely.
I went several years again after that and always had a great time meeting old and new friends and just "living" as Suzie for a few days.
At Keystone you could even bring your wife along if that is of interest, she will be just as welcome and will have a chance to learn more about this while having a little vacation away from home with you.
Something to think about at least.
