A life update, and some questions

[sexycindy]

It's a little strange how things work different for most of us. I do get at times a little dry spell when I feel tired to make the mess and then clean it up, almost like I couldn't be bothered. For some reason it was the opposite for me, when Covid hit I started dressing more, almost like it distracted me from what was going on. I feel when I'm under more pressure is when I dress more, almost like I'm more relaxed when dressed. Well don't beat yourself up over it and just let your true feelings guide you, it's sounds like your trying to make it come back. Just relax and follow your heart.

I've always found that when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed, all I want is my pyjamas and bed. Historically, when I was relaxed or it was the weekend etc. I'd be dressing up and enjoying life. Now days, at the weekend I just look forward to playing video games or chilling out. Like today, I felt an urge to dress got things out. Then the urge just left and I put it back.

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It sounds more like you are depressed than CD anxious. Try to treat the depression.

In terms of missing the desire, one idea that helped me understand is that moods and evironment can make a huge difference. When stressed often the mix is 5% good, 10% neutral and 85% horrible. But when unstressed the mix may be 55% good, 25% neutral and 10% bad. It's about balance and NOT beating yourself up because what you sense now is now what you/others expect to be your experience. Go with what's good at this moment for you and call that well enough, period.

Regarding the depression, that went away a couple of years ago, with the help of meds and counselling. I do still meet regularly with a counsellor for updates etc. But I'm happy and content with life. I have raised this with them, and they suggested I was dressing to try to be a different person and escape from my issues. I explained that it wasn't always the case, and they suggested seeking advice from people that know more about this, than they do. Hence my post on here, to see what others think.