The elephant in MY room is starting to make some noise

[Sara Jessica]

The last few weeks have been kind of strange. The last time I went out & about was in early-February when a work commitment took me up to the Valley and I was able to meet up with Anne. Since then, I've been less than inspired to go out which is odd, I should have been eager to seize each and every opportunity to go out and enjoy my long hair while I still have it. The chances to go out since have been plenty and I would seize upon any reason not to go. Work event out towards Los Angeles, a friend offers to carpool, I accept and therefore....no outing. Work event in the Valley, finding out there is a dinner afterwards, no biggie, no outing.

So I had been talking to my friend Kim in SD about possibly coming down for the Neutral Corner meeting which was yesterday but those same feelings kicked in and I was really looking for any reason NOT to go. I even emailed her Friday morning and told her exactly how I was feeling rather than make up some lame excuse why I could not go. Kim was gracious as always and said to let her know. I ended up deciding to give it a go on Friday night so yesterday I had an all-day outing. It was a nice day but most importantly, Neutral Corner ended up being a solid source of support, something that I don't demand of this group very often in that I personally see it as a social group rather than support. I explained what was going on during my portion of the roundtable and this ended up being quite the source of ongoing conversation to the point where others were truly touched by the gravity of what I was going through. We're not simply talking about hair, it has to do with navigation of this entire middle-path thing.

When all is said and done, the commitment has been made. It feels right. I'm admittedly very nervous. I run the risk of being very emotional about it. But I think I'll be alright with a little help from my friends, both in these pages and IRL.


...and now for some comments on the comments:

have mixed feelings too. Feeling #1 is to tell you to Not Cut the Hair. Feeling 2 says that you have to do what you have to do. And I want to support you even if my heart wants to see you keep the long hair and transition.

I hear where you're coming from Veronica. And for what it's worth, I don't see the hair and transition potential as being tied together. It's nice knowing that if I ever need to regrow it, I should be able to.

You'll look great in any femme hairstyle you go with. Most of us don't have beautiful hair like yours to work with.

Thank you for the support, I really hope that dialing back to one of my early hairstyles ends up being as fulfilling as I think it can be.

Thank you Sarah for demonstrating that our decisions don't just affect us. That you will pull back in consideration of your family is a sign of your love. I hope you have a great time at DLV and please take lots of pictures to share!

You know there will be plenty of pictures. After all, it's gonna be all about the hair!!!

It sounds as if the elephant is becoming a more accepted member of the family and is maturing. We'll have to get together and celebrate your new look once it happens. See you in Vegas at the elephant parade on the strip.

I am so very much looking forward to seeing you in Vegas!!!

I so much admire your maturity and decisiveness. You know who you are and what's important. Relationships are very important and in any relationship there is compromise. Hope to see you soon!!!

You are so right and I think the time has come for this compromise.