Quote Originally Posted by MsVal

The approval of, or lacking that, the acceptance of others is a very natural and very powerful motivator. It shapes nearly everything we do, from our kindergarten paintings to our choice of careers; from the house we live in to the clothing we wear.

With the fear of rejection being your primary motivation, you may be carrying a great burden of anxiety. If that is the case, I am quite sorry for you. I do hope that I am mistaken.

Best wishes
MsVal
Yeah, I'm a mess. I even have non-crossdressing related problems that I keep a secret. But I'm working on it.