Quote Originally Posted by emoglassesenvy View Post
oh yeah, no, i always use male words~ using anything else would feel really unnatural. i just meant that when i ask him questions about him being transgender, i didn't really know the correct ways to phrase things
That alone should make him feel better about the whole situation. I'm glad he has found such a nice and understanding girlfriend, nyaa.

yeah i dunno. i didn't even know these words in english until a few days ago, so even though i'm nearly fluent in japanese i don't feel too bad about not knowing them in japanese. if i find a time that isn't weird to ask i'll ask him then~
These aren't really those words that are thought in the school. To be honest, I didn't know most of the words myself until I joined this forum. Being transgendered myself, it feels kinda strange to think that I didn't have a way to express myself in words until now.

also as an update, he's going to meet my parents in a couple of days. i don't even know if i'm going to tell them we're dating (i'm sure they suspect it), let alone tell them about his "secret". no need to really, especially so early on.

he told me about how one of his transgender friends told his girlfriend's parents and the parents were pretty upset about it. i think my parents wouldn't be happy, but wouldn't forbid me to date him or anything.

in your experience, has it been better to tell early, wait, or just not saying anything at all?
It's always hard to tell with things like this. Are both of your parents American or is one of the Japanese? Because I think the origin might have rather a lot effect into their reaction. Also the way they were brought up etc. How are you parents usually with gay people and other not so normal poeple. If they don't seem to have anything against them, the chances are they are not going to take it badly are high.

My wife's, mom knows about me. She hasn't told her dad yet, but she took it very calm. The only thing she said to that was, "I guess I better buy some girlie cloths from now on" her parent's are both Japanese origin, so however they've lived in the U.S. for their whole life. Just told this to show, that it really depends how they were brought up and the traditions in their culture are.

About when you should tell, I wouldn't tell until it becomes an issue. With this I mean the time when you two are being very serious(this meaning you are planning to get married or engaged) about your relationship. There is no need to tell anything in the beginning of your relationship. First you gotta make sure you really are planning to stay together, then you should tell your parents about this matter. I wouldn't tell before, just because it's unnecessary stress on your parents if something happens to your relationship(I'm not saying that it's not going to work, but just to wait a little to make sure that you are serious about the relationship).

If you both are truly serious about the matter, of you two loving each other. I don't really think there are any parents who would get mad about it. Anyway, it has to be told sooner or later, there is no way around that.

EDIT: My wife told her mom after we had been in a relationship for 3 years. However, I've never met them yet. They also don't know that we are married nor does my side of the family know about our marriage.