Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
I think a lot of wives just can't get past the "pervert" issue.... plain and simple.
I guess this is true for some wives who have that kinda mindset, but IMHO there are many more reasons why women might feel threatened and they have nothing to do with thinking deviant or pervert type thoughts. I think ReineD, FireflyGG, and Danielle Gee eluded to them.

Quote Originally Posted by Margot View Post
I agree with Denise. My wife will not think of me as a girlfriend just her husband who has the gift of caring, compassion, understanding and ,oh yes, the love to be as feminine as possible.
This is how my wife is. She's told me that no matter how I feminine I dress or look "I will never pass in her eyes" as she can "always see the boy". Now don't get me wrong, by that I mean not that I don't look feminine enough, but that there are little things about me, like the way I am, my mannerisms etc, that make my wife always know that underneath it all it's still her husband that she knows and loves.

The other thing in my particular situation, (which is not typical I grant you), is that my wife looked to date a CDer before she met me. She wanted (and still likes) a feminine partner. She is not bi or anything like that it's that she doesn't particularly like most men that much, but she is straight and wants to married to a guy, except she wants her guy to be more like a girl, especially in his attitude and behavior. For her, the clothes and my love of all things feminine is a natural and therefore (for her) a non threatening progression.

However, I do want to tell you that before we got married she was VERY careful to make sure I was exactly what she was looking for and she knew precisely what she was getting into as she practically grilled me on every tiny thought and feeling I had on my "transgender-ness" and where I was going with it. In particular she wanted to be as sure as she could be that I was not going to transition. She wanted to marry a crossdresser. She knows that (in theory) it is still a possibility that one day it "could" happen but before marrying me she wanted to be sure it would be very unlikely. I can't promise her that I never will, just like she can't promise me that she won't one day fall out of love with me, but both of us know deep down inside that both these scenarios are highly unlikely.

I think this is why my wife is so supportive and encouraging of my crossdressing and feminine expression, because she is self assured enough that am going to remain a crossdresser, and in particular that I will not be making any permanent surgical changes to my body other than laser hair removal and electrolysis for my face. I can tell that periodically she likes to be reminded of this fact, just like it's nice to have your partner look you in the eye and tell you that they love you. It's affirming and gives you a feeling of safety.

Anyway, like I said, I do feel that my situation is different from others as my wife knew from the get-go and the biggest thing is that she likes girly guys. Back in the 1980's when all those New Romantics were wearing feminine clothing and makeup, but where still clearly guys - albeit feminine ones - was where she was in her element Even today, cute boys makeup make her go weak at the knees