Cross dressing and marriage.

[suchacutie]

I joined this forum a week after my wife and I first discovered Tina. I had the naieve notion that all husbands and wives would explore each other's minds together, and with us it was just "goofing around" after 32 years of marriage, chuckling about fitting into an old piece of lingerie of hers, chuckling about buying stockings and super high heels to match, wanting to see me "dressed", and then shocking me by telling me that we NEEDED to buy me a dress!

Ok, she admits that she never thought it would last this long, this exploration of Tina, but it started out as a "goof" together, and it just snow-balled. But...it snowballed together. The dress didn't fit because I had no breasts to fill it out, so bra, breastforms, then wig, then makeup, then skirt and top...you all know the routine of that slippery slope.

But it was more than that. It was a reaffirmation of a commitment to each other, it was agreeing that it would be private between the two of us, it was the private e-mail address for Tina so the new "girlfriends" could correspond without confustion about who was the correspondant, it was the clarity that the masculine and feminine sides of me are separate so that we could look at those two sides of me separately, it was a commitment that when she wanted her man HE would be there.

Then there were the long discussions about what it is like to grow up being a girl, the socializations, the expectations, the details that girls learn, the emotional responses that men don't have a clue about, the odd looks at Tina when Tina suddenly did something as a "guy" would without even knowing it, the idea of separating activities that Tina and she did from those of husband and wife (Tina even had some chores labeled for her getting ready for thanksgiving), the idea of Tina as girlfriend, the details of growing up as a guy coming out as well and being put into perspective, and it just goes on and on.

So, in that context I come onto this forum and read about all the pain and actual suffering from both sides. Of all the murky issues surrounding this issue, a few stand out in my mind:

• Our wives need to be kept secure in the realty that we will not stop being the the husbands that they married, that a feminine side does not diminished their roles as husband. Bait and switch is a deadly game in marriage.
• A cross-dressing husband has the potential to be a superb mate, understanding more about his wife than most (if not all) men who don't experience presenting as a woman.
• If experiencing his feminine side is done together, the connections that can be made between spouses are truly incredible, strengthening the bonds of that marriage.
• For any wives reading this, please know that opening our psyches to you about this topic can be the most frightening act in your marriage. We put our lives as we know it in your hands, trusting you completely.

I truly hope that this thread can help to bring couples together over the topic of their masculinity and femininity, to share in what can be an incredible-shared experience of caring and love.

tina