Crossing dressing and dating guys?

[ReineD]

Speaking as someone who struggled with gay desires through two marriages

It's interesting how you refer to it as having gay desires. I think most CDs do not use that term, because if they have the desires it is while they are dressed and they don't identify as men then, but as women. Do you mind if I ask how you identify your gender? ... If there is a simple answer to that. Lol.

What price honesty? Would she have left if I would have let her in? Maybe, but the refusal to admit my desire, only bought me another few years of a bad marriage. The truth would have truly set me free.

Thank you for saying this.

I'm pretty sure that any straight or bi man who harbors secret gay fantasies would get "excited" by just talking about it with his wife if she was accepting and playful. Don't want a "submissive" husband? Then talk about it. Tell him what you want, do some role playing, compromise a bit. Make a deal, he can pretend to be a princess tonight if he'll pretend to be a fireman tomorrow. CD's love to dress up and and play, get some fun "manly" costumes and take turns wearing them.

I don't know that CDs here will like to think of themselves as men, either straight or gay, but the rest of your suggestions for GGs are fantastic!

so we need to stop acting like we're goofy teenagers and start acting like grownups when it comes to sexuality. We're ALL a little freaky in some way so let your freak flag fly.

Grow up and be honest with yourself and your lover.

Well said. :D

[RichardCD]

For me Women all the way. Never even been a little curious about men. I just want to be with my SO dressed ( my fantasy ). May never happen, but I am still happy and love her with all my heart and soul. I would NEVER EVER cheat on her, even if it was with another woman who would let me be dressed up. (That would not happen as my SO is the only one besides this forum that know about my CDing)

I also feel to each is own and no one should have feel strange, bad, or feel that they have to justify their feelings, desires, or fantasies. Be who you are, let yourself feel what it feels. As long as no one gets hurt in any way and it is legal I say go for what you want.

[Misty is Kindafem]

Do you mind if I ask how you identify your gender? ... If there is a simple answer to that. Lol.

I'm a man. I have the same problem that all men have and that's a penis. My sexual desires are manifested outwardly in the form of an erection and a lifetime of managing that appendage has definitely hobbled my sense of femininity.

Having said that, I have always felt like an impostor as a man. Almost like I was wearing a "man suit" and all the other boys knew it.

I identify as a man who wishes to be a woman.

-Misty (even my name is a variation of mister)

[ReineD]

Misty,

[PretzelGirl]

Sheila, in this very thread there were CDs who said they are not attracted to men. But what came as a surprise was the majority who did. I dare say most GGs believe believe the line about the "majority" of CDs engaging in the CDing for stress release or for emotional expression. Tri-ess wants to have people believe that for the "majority" of CDs, sexual expression is not a part of it. This thread proves otherwise, as well as Novic's book which is about the CDing. Books written about TSs would not have the same issues.

Sorry for going in a different path here than what the rest of your post went.

I don't necessarily agree that this thread proves anything on how many crossdressers are gay/bi. First take a look at the title, "Crossdressing and dating guys." For those that skim the forum, who is more likely to read this? Those that date guys or at least entertain the possibility. It reminds me of threads like "Are lefthanders more likely to crossdress?" Lefthanders will flock to the thread as it is something to relate to and righthanders move on to the next thread.

I know it has been said on this board before that some people feel that the percent of crossdressers that were either gay or bi was approximately the same as society in general. I would suspect that it is a little higher as crossdressers are already exploring themselves and accepting themselves for who they are. So it seems to make sense that it would then be easier to accept your own feelings of being gay or bi. But the responses here seem swung was in the other direction and I don't feel they can be used to determine which was crossdressers tend to go.

The truth is to me is that we may never really get a good feel on it as it is hard to get a good poll and there are just too many people who have repressed feelings or really just aren't sure.

[Sheila]

I don't necessarily agree that this thread proves anything on how many crossdressers are gay/bi. First take a look at the title, "Crossdressing and dating guys." For those that skim the forum, who is more likely to read this? Those that date guys or at least entertain the possibility. It reminds me of threads like "Are left-handers more likely to crossdress?" Left-handers will flock to the thread as it is something to relate to and right-handers move on to the next thread.

Thankyou Sue you make a good point about who the title may attract

The truth is to me is that we may never really get a good feel on it as it is hard to get a good poll and there are just too many people who have repressed feelings or really just aren't sure.

Or even after a while just afraid to come out and swim against the tide, then we have to remember that this is the Internet where people will sometimes just say anything for the heck of it and for shock value ..........

[Dixie]

[SIZE="2"]In my short 42 year tender on this planet I have learned that there is one absolute in life when it comes to people. That absolute is:..................THAT THERE ARE NO ABSOLUTES! We don't all fantisize about men when dressed, nor do we all NOT fantisize about men when dressed, and shocking as this may sound, ready....wait for it...., there are some of us who only sometimes fantisize!!!
If we were all "the same" life would be extremly boring. No not everyone has gone through a phase of curiousity about men, but some have. Of the ones that have not all have acted on it, and not all will for a thousand different reasons. I do not want to be put in a box and labeled. To quote Bob Seger "I'm not a number, dammit I'm a man!" well a man part of the time, I hope we can quit trying to say that we all do ---------- just to make ourselves fill better or normal because we did----------.
Have a lovely day everyone:drink:[/SIZE]

[creigh]

May I interject from a male prospective.

I have dated Trans and have been surprised how many seem to be afraid to show their feminine side. This is more so with Cross dressers, them MtF.

I find them better companions, and more likely to be caring, and intimate.

But finding one that wishes to have a lasting, or long relationship is practically not available.

Although I have been in relationship that lasted more then one night, there seems to be reluctance to extend closeness.

Your points are well founded over all.

[Dutchess]

My husband is similar to most of the "lesbians " on the thread . He has never found anything attractive about a man ( including himself sadly ) at all ever. In fact he has slowly come to identify himself as a lesbian woman whether en femme or not and he is always worrying that will drive me away . It won't,, I dont care,, but the L theme is always present in fantasy or reality for him. He is kind of like a permanent tomboy/soft butch or the like.

Like the other posters have said ,, it is amazing how many shades of CD-er's there are.

[VickyMI]

Yes I have dated men before.

No I don't think I am very attracted to them but its still titilating to play the role of a woman out on a date. Walking into a room with a man at your side for dinner or lunch is soooo much like living like a real women. Maybe its the validation thing. Having someone open doors, hang up your coat for you seems to take it to another level. Much better than just going out to the mall and shopping by yourself.

I have been lucky to have a few long term relationships on the side. Love going to movies especially sitting in the back row...