Quote Originally Posted by ruroken
Im scared of realizing that what i feel as "me" is somehow always wrong. I don't want to be in your position. Because i want to deal with the hardships of life as 1 not as two. I don't want a different personality to get certain things from the world (attention, love, affection) just because the other is incapable of doing it. I want it to be all through one....ME! Not a side,Not a gender, but the androgynous ME!
[SIZE="2"]Try looking at it from the standpoint (or idea) of gender integration, with crossdressing merely as the surface aspect of what is really going on inside. I am me, regardless of whether I’m dressed or not. The clothes just bring me closer to a state that I am desirous of, consisting of tactile sensations and their attendant mental benefits. My basic under-painting is androgynous...[/SIZE]

Did you ever think that you will never cross again? If so how many times? And how sure were you? What was your reasoning behind it?
[SIZE="2"]Crossing over and not crossing over is the same thing. I’m standing at the junction of the two genders, making a third by straddling the line. It’s not a conscious decision to be in one place or another. My shape-shifting is ongoing, and it’s not a struggle for control...[/SIZE]

How did it grow to be a bigger and bigger part of your life? When did you name her? Why?
[SIZE="2"]I named “her” purely for purposes of posting on this forum. I only have one personality.[/SIZE]

Do you ever feel "spiritually" trapped by the clothes?
[SIZE="2"]I really don’t believe in spirituality, via clothing or not, so I never feel trapped (by any definition).[/SIZE]

Rather then feeling guilty/shame afterwards do you ever feel empty?
[SIZE="2"]I never feel empty. I feel fulfilled, complete, and satisfied...[/SIZE]