Quote Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele View Post
but pretending is hard, i got tired of it..it started to wear me down. over a long drawn out time of confusion and anxiety and worse...i wished it would all just stop.... I tried to "be" male by "feeling" male.. but it was like the inputs i was getting did not connect i I couldnt stand being around people anymore...every personal interaction made me more and more trapped and depressed....
I'm glad you wrote this.

I know there are some late-onset TSs who realize who they are through having believed they were CDers. So, when GG SOs (or maybe even some CDs) read about such experiences, they may well wonder when their own husbands will realize they are TS, even when the husbands adamantly proclaim to be CDs. And so it's not a stretch for people who read such posts to file away at the back of their minds the belief that it is only a question of time before any CD will realize she is TS.

But your words above explain a major difference between a CD who doesn't know she is TS, and a CD who doesn't have it in his stars to want to transition. You describe a deep dissatisfaction over being male, a dead feeling inside even before you knew you were TS. I guess this describes the dysphoria, which was always there even though you were not aware what it was?

I should think that no matter how enticing and exciting it is for some CDs to imagine themselves female, if they don't experience that dead, sick feeling inside over being male, then they are not TS.