Quote Originally Posted by DeniseNJ View Post
BUT I want to make it clear,(I don't throw my dressing at my wife) I have pretty red toes and I don't even walk around my own home barefoot as not to upset my wife.
I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I believe you are cramming it down her throat. I did say to keep it out of her face (for now), but I suggest this only because you have more important things to resolve in your marriage than the CDing. And few people can tackle all of the issues you both face, all at once.

Quote Originally Posted by DeniseNJ View Post
Yes I get angry because she keeps telling me ( Stop Trying to Control Me) when I advise her , you had enough to drink, you lost too much money, lets leave before you loose all the $ back.. You make it sound like I cram it down her throat and say deal with it or leave me>> All I want is a little comprimize. I surely do!! I asked her when she was sober ...
You are getting feedback from a lot of different people who have different degrees of familiarity with the particular issues that you face in your marriage. Some people who respond in this thread might well have no idea what it is like to be an alcoholic, or to live with one, so they (understandably) gloss over the clues you mention.

Alcoholism is not something to "judge", it is not a character flaw, nor is it a question of not having enough will power. You are not a bad person and neither is your wife. It is a serious DISEASE, and it needs to be treated as such. It is also the only disease that tells the alcoholic or his or her family members that they don't have it. Those of us who have lived through it can tell you there is no point coming to an agreement with an alcoholic in between drinking bouts, because they just won't remember. As long as this particular issue is not addressed, you have zero to nil chance of making any progress in the other areas of your life.

So, please do not take the advice given here personally as if we are telling you that you are not worthy or that you are doing something wrong. It's just that some of us have walked in your shoes and we are trying to point you to a different solution than you have previously thought of.

You say you didn't specifically "ask" for advice, but ..... well, this is a discussion forum and when you post an issue that others feel they can help you with, it is hard to not say anything. I'm sure you would do the same in someone else's thread. Ultimately, you are the only person who can decide to take or leave the advice given here, and no one will think ill of you for the choices that you make.

So please, take a day's break from this thread and read it again tomorrow, hopefully with an open mind. The issues you speak of are far deeper than a matter of going to Vegas and getting a makeover. There will always be Vegas, there will always be makeovers.