Neither you nor your wife can deal with any CDing or relationship issues effectively as long as she is drinking. This is the biggest truth in this thread. Alcoholism clouds issues more than people ever realize. Please believe me when I say that I know this from personal experience. I could write a book on it, but for now I'll only suggest you keep a low profile with the CDing in the immediate future (do your Vegas thing, and then do your best to keep it out of your wife's face), and please, please, PLEASE go to Al-Anon.Originally Posted by DeniseNJ
Al-Anon will teach you how to separate the alcohol issues from the other issues and will teach you to keep the responsibility of your wife's drinking squarely on your wife's shoulders where it belongs, and not your own. (I'm assuming that she is the only person who drinks. If you do as well, then you both need to go to AA).
As to your wife's level of unhappiness when she drinks, I agree with Lorileah. Her feelings are valid, whether she drinks or not. Her reactions while drunk may be exaggerated, and if she does manage to resolve some or part of the issues in between drinking bouts this will soon be forgotten, but if she is unhappy about certain things it is because they continue to not be fully resolved for her. And they will not be resolved as long as she is drinking.
I mean it, and I cannot emphasize enough that RIGHT NOW what you need to do is to distance yourself from your wife's drinking, stop taking responsibility for it, stop enabling her, and help her to reach her own bottom with it so that you can both then move on to resolve the other issues in your relationship, including coming to a similar understanding of what the CDing means in your marriage, and this will require an amount of negotiating and boundary setting that is healthy in any marriage.
GO TO AL-ANON!
Didn't mean to shout, but please do it.
