Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post

Most guys who have feminine desires or tendencies (even if they don't recognize them as such) need to bury them pretty deep if they will survive childhood and their teen years. Guys growing up are not supposed to like pretty things, they're not supposed to be passive or submissive. They're busy positioning themselves along the male pecking order. So, CDers need to compartmentalize their inner landscapes to the point of not allowing themselves to do some things in guy mode, that might give a clue as to what is going on internally, that non-CDs have no issues doing when they reach maturity. Some of these things might be dancing, or art appreciation, or enjoying cooking or sewing, or having an opinion about what color goes on the wall. The compartmentalized preferences are different for everyone. Until they've reached self-acceptance, CDers don't want anyone (including themselves) to come close to guessing who they really are. I think that (many?) CDers have built such a thick wall around their feminine desires that they grow up to actually believe they are different people when they're dressed. How many members here refer to their femme personas in the third person? How many say they have different interests when they're dressed, such as loving to do housework, or enjoying different music, or knitting, or being more outgoing? These CDers are not integrated because they've never given themselves permission in guy mode to follow interests that might have gotten them creamed when they were younger, had their peers had any inkling about the CDing desires. So is it a surprise that they also compartmentalize sexual fantasy?
Interesting observation. If I accept your premise, then I wonder why a person could be comfortable with being a CD but not comfortable with being gay? It's my opinion that the gay community has achieved a level of acceptance and tolerance in, western culture, that the CD community has not. I'm not trying to make an argument that coming out as gay is easier than coming out as a CD, but I wonder if some CDs think, "Well I may be a CD, but at least I'm not gay."

I also wonder what, for many CD's was their first impulse, homoerotic feelings or the desire to crossdress? Does one lead to the other? I know its sort of a chicken/egg argument as to what came first and maybe a little off topic.

In my case, I went to an all boys school until I was 14 years old. Before puberty, I remember having some homoerotic feelings, but then I was around nothing but boys all day. After puberty, no desires. I had opportunities when I was in young adulthood, but to this day I still have no desire to be with a man, dressed or not dressed. So to respond to SweatPea, I agree, either you are or you aren't, otherwise you're in denial or confused.