Having cancer, gaining weight, losing a job or a limb... These are not things you know about in advance. For the most part, crossdressing is. They are completely different things.
The issue for most GGs (not all) is the feelings of being lied to, betrayed and duped by their spouses. I mean, this is your best friend who knows everything about you and vice versa. Now all of a sudden there is this whole femme side you knew nothing about? Were you not livable enough to tell? Do you really respect me if you could hide this? How could you have me share everything with you and keep this from me? Do I even know the real you?
Let's say the GG partner had had a nose job, and maybe a few other cosmetic surgeries on her face. Maybe it was to correct some facial difference she had as a kid. What if she hid that and never told, because it was in the past? Would you feel okay with that? Looking at her nose every day and not knowing it was hers? What if it was a huge bulbous honker? That ran in the family? And you only found out when your newborn baby had a big nose and someone was all like, 'ooh, Mrs. GG, she's going to have a honker like yours was! Better start saving for that surgery!' Would you feel like you had openly shared your lives and values then? What if you had even had conversations where she asked you how you felt about plastic surgery and you had been against it?
