Compromises to save a mariage

[ReineD]

Lea, what you say is true for some people. But, some of the others have a different definition of TS than you do. They believe perhaps that transition means doing everything except legally transitioning to full time and getting SRS. Or, they start out that way but then they decide it isn't for them when the possibility of losing everything to end up living less than an ideal woman's life hits them hard.

Someone said something that I think is very wise in the CD section a while back. S/he said that we can consider several types of transition. There is the traditional transition we speak of here in the TS section, which is the full physical including FFS & SRS together with legal name change (Type V or VI TS). But, there is also a transition for people who don't want to go that far so that they can still be who they are meant to be, which is somewhere in the middle if they cannot see themselves divorcing their wives, losing their jobs, and having their penises removed. This is what my SO did. And in the process she has determined that she is not a guy nor is she a full time female. And she is OK with it.

Neither of these examples are male, obviously. But there is a difference between living a permanently full-time transitioned female life, and one that is part time or partial and not fully female. Both are valid and both are true but the mistake is when both want to call themselves the same thing. This causes a great deal of confusion (and disagreement), not only in this section among the different factions, but with loved ones who for the most part, believe that the word "transition" means basically getting rid of a penis and living full time as a woman even at work.

Is this what Lynn wants, and has she determined this after having spent a considerable amount of time as herself out and about doing regular things, several times per week for at least a year until all the newness has worn off?

Edit - If someone comes in here and says they have been out and about for years in the mainstream and they know they want to live full time, they are prepared to transition at work, they want the whole shabang including the legal name change and they've told all their friends and family, and they are prepared to live with the consequences of possibly losing some relationships, I will not be suggesting to them the same thing that I suggest to Lynn, who was all excited last month over just going to Walmart dressed.

Doesn't anyone else see it this way or am I just weird? :p