Jacqueline, if someone puts on panties and a skirt once every three months when the wife is gone, I don't know that I'd call that habitual CDing. I think the need to tell is when the CDing is so frequent that it has become a significant part of a CDer's life.
But maybe we can compare this to points of law. It's difficult to describe and come to a definitive position in a gray zone since motives are so varied ... it's much easier to paint a picture with words when it's black and white: tell or not tell, no matter the degree.
I do believe there are gray zones.
OK ... let's compare this to masturbation. What spouse necessarily tells their partner every single time they do this? I'm guessing few. But, if it becomes frequent to the point where it is on a spouse's mind a lot of the time and they have to purposely and habitually manipulate circumstances so they can masturbate according to their needs, then it's something that is an issue between them. Not the masturbation, but the frequent hiding which does entail a degree of lying or non-disclosure.
