I have been dressing up for over 40 years. The main reason for not dressing has usually been a partner who didn't like it. Now single, I spend almost all my non-work time in all the clothes and jewellery but never make-up or a wig. I just like the clothes and the accessories. OK, the bra and breast forms are feminine but otherwise I am just me going about my life. I do not ever think of myself as a woman but I like to look nice. I used to go out shopping or to the beauty salon (or a concert or to a hotel) fully dressed = I am reasonably good at acting like a woman - but it is just acting. Currently I have concluded I have enough clothes and am not longing for anything new or a new shopping experience. I haven't bought any clothes for nearly two months |(probably a record for me) and have not been to the beautician in many months. I know this will not last and I will want to go out fully dressed and get some new stuff and I am completely happy with this. Managing the clothes takes up a bit of time, but the time-consuming bit is going out fully dressed. At home it takes only a few minutes to get dressed (and you have to put some clothes anyway) and then you can do all the others stuff you want to do - a lot of my interests can be pursued at home.

As for figuring it all out - I can't and I no longer try. I am probably in a small minority on here as I don't ever think of myself as female and I don't get turned on - I just love the clothes - possibly in the same way a woman who loves clothes feels about her outfits. I have completed all my challenges relating to womenswear and loom for new challenges in the rest of my life. It is good not to let it take over completely. I have a rule that it should not get in the way of my time with friends but inevitably it means I spend a lot less time than others out socialising. No regrets.