But I like red lipstick sometimes!!!Originally Posted by Rhonda Jean
MM, I really enjoy reading your words here. Your perspective is truly unique. I also appreciate that you are willing to put yourself out there to share how you feel. This post in particular does so on many levels.
My opinion is going to pretty much align with what Rhonda said but with a caveat. You describe inner turmoil but I am reading more into the socialization angle.
It is easy enough to be the pretty little thing at home with your wife. You will be loved unconditionally rather than judged.
Stepping outside, alone or perhaps with your wife, she'll still love you for everything you are but some (many?) of the Muggles will find your presentation a bit jarring. They may let this be known to you or simply say things behind your back. Either way, I see your strength as being able to overcome such criticism.
Going into trans spaces with your presentation takes things to an entirely new level. You become an outlier in a community of outliers, most of whom either cannot or will not get their head around the furry bearded guy in a dress that they perceive. Sometimes those who are already marginalized can be the best marginalizers out there.
So then comes the question as to where said "CD events" are held. If you attended a gathering in a mainstream environment, the participants are likely trying to fit in as a group of women despite the reality that a gaggle of trans-women are likely to be read in a heartbeat. Your bearded presentation likely flies in the face of what many are trying to accomplish, hence the cold shoulder.
My opinion may not solve anything in the grand scheme of things but I hope it helps you feel better in some way.
