Thanks for explaining all this, Samantha. The part about a GG looking in the mirror dressed as a man and feeling discomfort as an example of how a CDer occasionally feels makes a lot of sense. I wonder why this happens to people? I get the woman or man born in the wrong body as really, they're still cisgendered if you think about it. It's this halfway point, this fluidity spoken of here, that I really can't fathom. I accept it is as you say, though, and after reading here I realise now that my H can't stop dressing. I also have to accept that I'll never really get it, too, and that's been one of the hardest parts of all this.

I also think (hope?) that most here understand that heterosexual women aren't usually wired to find crossdressing attractive? My H however, for the longest time, harboured a ridiculously male idea that inside every woman is a latent lesbian and that eventually I'd come around to intimacy with him dressed. I finally found a way for him to understand that this is complete nonsense and one of those boys locker room lies that needed immediate correcting, lol. So I asked him whether he was attracted to masculinity. Nope. Did he like women with moustaches because I could go buy one if he did? Hell no! What about women who bind their breasts or stuff bananas down their pants? He looked at me like I had three heads. Well, darling husband, when you ask that I find you attractive when dressed as a woman, imagine how you would feel if I came to bed dressed as a man. Would that turn you on?

It was amazing the clarity that came after that conversation as I'm convinced he became scared I might actually do this, haha. He's definitely not one of the crossdressers who fantasy about men when dressed. And I had quite good fun creating this visual in his head. Maybe it felt like a bit of payback for the visuals he's put in mine!

But I know this isn't a choice. It's difficult to understand and it can look pretty weird from this side of things, but so does much of human behavior so why is this any different? It is what it is. And with boundaries and respect, it can be worked with or around like many things in a marriage.

Thanks for sharing Samantha. x