Attacking and Challenging Members - Fair Game or Not?

[sarahcsc]

There is a special problem with transsexualim when it comes to authority. That is, the most knowledgeable people on the topic are transsexuals, most of whom are not researchers! The average doctor has little to no real perspective, never mind training on the topic. When they do, it's narrow (endo, surgeon, therapist, whatever). And even they are often not current. When the very best (and I really mean exactly that) you can muster is a bunch of armchair experts, recognize that the only way they got there, at any level, isn't just because they are well-read. It's because being pushed HARD by challenges is needed to make-up for lack of holistic perspective that long and rigorous training yields. It's a poor substitute that leaves loose ends and holes everywhere, but that's what we have. Expect challenge and refutation. Welcome it.

This is definitely something for me to contribute! (although I think it is way off the OP...)

Sadly, I agree with your appraisal that authorities in this matter are not very knowledgeable on this topic. But that begs the question, how knowledgeable should one become before one is deemed knowledgeable? Experts in schizophrenia often admit that there is still a lot they don't know despite a century of research.

I read a lot of the medical/psychiatric literature around this topic, along with autobiographies, sources from this forum (ie. Anne Vitale), and speak with some experts in my area who deals primarily in gender dysphoric individuals, I've even been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and I still feel like I don't know enough.

Awhile ago, I was accused by one of my patients who has gender dysphoria of not understanding her. I just nodded and remained silent. She probably interpreted that as "me not understanding her too."

I agree that one's internal world is forever exclusive. Nobody can understand anybody completely except to come to an approximation.

But that begs the second question, how well should we know each other to be of help?

The endocrinologist may know little about gender dysphoria, but he helps with HRT. The surgeon may know nothing about HRT, but he performs the surgery. The therapist may have no medical knowledge, but he helps us explore our sexuality and come to terms with GD. Each of them have a very narrow understanding of GD but you need them all in order to transition smoothly. Are they not helping then?

I think we are discussing different aspects of dreams/fantasy. One is unrealized - yet realistic - possibility. This serves as an important internal driver, even when it FEELS unrealistic or unachievable. The other is escapism. It doesn't drive toward solutions, it drives away from them. There is a place for that in life, too, but not here, IMO.

I do understand your point on logic and empathy. It is a balance for which I strive but don't seem to hit often enough. My need to be rigorous and exhaustive produces writing that is perceived as aggressive and intimidating, unfortunately.

As far as the forum's purpose, it is nominally support and on transsexual topics only. The need, from a support perspective, isn't coaxing people from dream to realization because the problem that typically presents is confusion. Fantasy interjects primarily in the form of unrealistic, escapist scenarios when it comes from these people. Its continuance is enabled when people feed it.

So what about the realization of real things, then? Support for this happens ALL THE TIME HERE. Why doesn't anyone recognize this? It may be as gentle as encouraging someone to go out, to experiment. It can be experiential when people recount how they got around their fears. It can be consoling and forgiving when it comes to failures and backsteps. But it doesn't happen until a measure of clarity and need has emerged, nor should it. To encourage someone down that path before they are ready is dangerous and destructive.

As I recall, you are a doctor. If so, I hope you won't be offended by this, but giving medical advice, whether presented in factual form or not, is never a mere presentment of facts. In any event, I didn't say he pandered ... I (effectively) said he did not. Your self-indulgence (better than "pandering" I think) point is valid and that does happen regularly in the forum.

I think you put matters well and I agree with you regarding the dreams/fantasy topic, the support perspective, and the realization of real things.

I am not offended by anything.

I like your concept of 'confusion' which some people present with. The question is, who decides if they are 'confused'?

Do we decide if a person is confused if they present with an idea which seems unrealistic according to our standards?

Do we then attempt to re-orientate them to reality by challenging them? Are we assuming ourselves to be the ultimate authority in this matter?

I guess we can exert ourselves as the 'authority' in this matter but bear this in mind, we are not surgeons, endocrinologists, or therapists.

We are not trained to evaluate the suitability of surgery the way a surgeon can, or the safety of taking HRT, or the psychological conflicts at play.

We cannot perform surgery, prescribe HRT, or engage in therapy with others.

All we have, is a set of experience unique to ourselves which cannot be generalized because everybody's experience is different.

If you argue that the surgeon, endocrinologist, and therapist have a narrow understanding of GD, which I agree, then how narrow is our understanding of GD except when it pertains to ourselves?

I would argue that unless you are a SRS surgeon, a TS endocrinologist, a gender therapist, and an individual with GD, you can't claim yourself to be the 'authority' in this matter. Right?

Just trying to gain some perspective here.

Love,
S