Woman vs Female

[Bonnie Chan]

Again "feeling like Tom" is reducing Tom to his exterior becuase he is soft and pudgy... I'm sure Tom's not going to appreciate that ��

Oops, I didn't see that it has described soft and pudgy... Then yeah if someone is saying because of that, I agree Tom would not appreciate that (assuming he doesn't like to be soft and pudgy, or who knows someone might be proud of that? It depends on culture this one).
What if one says "feel like Tom because of wearing green shirt that Tom likes to wear"? This is rather neutral IMO. Green shirt does not indicate negative thing AFAIK. It's more like Tom's signature and his friends recognize that, and that's it. It's just one of his character that he portrays. And that doesn't mean his friends think less of him to be just a "green shirt". They will still recognize Tom as a sincere, considerate, dependable person, and also happens to like to wear green shirt.
So now, what do you think of this scenario then? Is it still bad for Tom? If so, why? I'd really like to understand the reasoning.

Male and female are sex identifiers.. woman and man are lived gender identities... like Zooey said earlier I was born TS and became a woman. Others are born female (or male) and become women(or men) .....all life experience.

Could you elaborate more on your opinion about "woman" and "man" are lived gender identities? Also, if there's some outside support evidence for what you said it would be a lot better. Otherwise I'll take it as one opinion only, to be fair Because everyone else could be thinking differently, and I find it hard to believe anything by just one person saying it. I'm a hard believer I know and it's for my own good sake. You don't want to blindly believe what anyone tell you what's right or wrong as well, right?

Or you could say you feel like a trans man as you identity as male and have a female body suddenly ... ☺️ You will get the privilege of knowing what it is like to be TS pre transition..

Yeah, you could say that too Honestly, it's hard to describe how one feels exactly anyway, and that's why we have so much confusion going on.

Btw, I really appreciate your thoughtful opinions, even we still have some disagreement. It's really what we need for us to move a discussion forward in a meaningful way. Let's keep up our momentum like this

- Bonnie