First of all what a fantastic post! :D

I can completely understand what you have said, and although not everything applies to my own relationship I can certainly relate to everything you have said.

Personally, I AM attracted to woman. However, I am not a lesbian, I have no desire what so ever to be in a relationship with a woman. It's purely a physical attraction and nothing more.

This said, I think it's quite interesting that I really do not find my partner attractive when dressed. In fact, in the past it's probably been bordering on replusion but we're working on that (by improving his skills in dressing so he looks more like a woman and less like a man in drag!). However, even with time I very much doubt I will ever be able to whole heartedly say that I don't feel some element of sadness when I see him dressed.

Purely and simply I fell in love with him as a male, I was attracted to him as a male. I like rough masculine men and that won't ever change and that is what attracted me to him in the first place. I think what hurts the most is that I can still see that person that I love and am very much attracted to underneath the clothes and make up.

HOWEVER, I love this person for far more than their physical appearance. Purely physical attraction is not love, it's lust. I've been through a tough time recently with my partner's CDing but at the end of the day I love them and although their phsyical appearance may have first attracted me to them it was their personality that made me fall in love with them. As has been said before in this post, looks may fade with time but their personality will always be there.

Am I fully accepting of my partner's CDing? No I'm not, it's hard for me to see my manly man dressed and I think to some degree it probably always will be. But i love them deeply and am prepared to accept this part of them as at the end of the day, it really could be a lot worse. Just because they CD doesn't mean their personality has changed, they are still the same person.

But will I ever be attracted to them? No I probably won't, even though I am attracted to woman, I'll always see my partner underneath and to me that is the hardest part.