Quote Originally Posted by Salandra View Post
A lot of good thoughts and feelings expressed in this thread. I do agree with Satrana, however, that if we fall in love with a facade(due to conditioning by society) rather than the person, we are eventually doomed to some kind of disappointment.
Sorry, I don't agree society is to blame on this one. The CDer has to take the responsibility of not being honest with himself and passing that dishonesty down the line to spouse, etc. Now I will 100% agree that dishonesty was probably not done in a deliberate, or vicious light - he was just not aware or in denial about his TGness. Denial is subtle, yet powerful.

I think the subject of this thread is how important is attractiveness in your relationship. CDing dramatically changes the physical traits of someone, and those traits may have been very important to their partner when establishing the relationship. I don't think that is as superficial as it sounds. Our relationship was very physical from the word go - the physical attraction was almost palpable. And over time, yes, we've changed physically - subtle aging process - but we still find each other attractive. Is it the most important element? No. But the possibility of completely losing that attraction because of CDing is very real and could be catastrophic (for the relationship).

Looking past the wig, the make-up, the padding is difficult to do at first. Sure the God given form is still under there, but some days it's just hard to see. The feel, the smell, the taste, the sound are still there - and most importantly the eyes & smile. As long as I can see those, it's OK and I'll remember what's there & feel the joy when it's easily accessed visually.

Absolutely a good relationship is full of guarantees, compensations and entitlements. We are both entitled to respectful and loving treatment, we have the right to be compensated with love and empowerment, and should be guaranteed that no matter what, we will do our damnedest to work through it and remember our partner's feelings are equally as important as our own.