I'm still undecided.
When I was little, I thought I was a girl. When a teen, I was sure I wanted to be a girl. Then I started becoming a man - KWIM - and discovered sex (late starter - 17). Then I focussed on being the man in relationships and just CD'd off and on for 30 years. Just recently I was told to stop being dishonest with myself and face up to who I really am.
I know when I was with a woman, I couldn't perform unless I switched places mentally. I always prided myself on being able to satisfy my partners. This kept me going for ages and then even that didn't work. Who was I kidding. Now, I cannot see myself with a woman because now I realise I get "jealous" and that is not fair on either of us.
So, I have kept going by being "genderless" or mentally a hermaphrodite or "gender blended", whatever.
Now, I am back to unsure. I want to go that next step, but I can't bring myself to take it. So, in order to take the "journey" one has to be moving forward and I seem to be in a place overshadowed by inertia.
Elsewhere there was a thread made about the price of Crossdressing - what is the price for personal fulfilment/self discovery????? I know what prices I have paid so far, how much more?
I really admire the peope who have taken the journey for their courage and conviction. Am I like that?
Wait and see........
Portia
