Quote Originally Posted by KellyV GG View Post
...if you are dealing with something that causes so much shame, guilt and confusion and continuing to do it causes more shame and guilt, what's the benefit?

It's so hard to understand. And how do I make it easier? He won't talk about it and quite obviously doesn't know how to define what's going on inside himself.
........Cheers....Kelly
I've been dealing with guilt ever since I started dressing about 10 years ago. I was over 50, and had never even THOT of trying on ladies things! That has happened to others here, too! So, it COULD have happened to your BF!

I kept my CD secret completely inside for 8 years!

What's the benefit, and why can't I quit? Compulsiveness DOESN'T run in my family! No alcoholics, gamblers, smokers, or druggies! All hardworking family folks! So,what is it about my "recent" CDing that is so compulsive?

I REALLY DON'T KNOW!

Kelly, men r used to talking things over with their buds! They DON'T tend to talk about VERY personal subjects directly, but somehow, walk around the edge of those subjects. Many compassionate men, will NOT push too hard for details!

I have NOT found that same compassion in women. In my experience, they'll push for every juicy detail! On the other hand, women seem more compassionate when they've heard those details, than men r!

My point being, I can discuss almost anything with my buds! I think they would be thotful, helpful, and keep our conversations to themselves! Even if I was gay! However, CDs MITE fall into the same category as pediphiles with them!
If they told folks about me, they'd rationalize that they were WARNING THEM!

Your BF may have the same problem! Being used to discussing his personal problems with his men buds. But, unable to reveal his CDing to them!

Kelly, I suggest u stick with him as long as u r able to. Be helpful, supportive, and there for him. If HE wants to talk, great! He'll eventually HAVE to talk to someone. I feel sure that if u r there for the long haul, it will be to u!