Crossing dressing and dating guys?

[Satrana]

I have deliberately ignored this thread up to now because fantasies are such a minefield to discuss. Some people keep fantasies and reality apart, others seek to merge them. This is an individual thing and there is no way to know where someone else stands on their fantasy-reality take. What I do know is if you are insecure about the issue another person's fantasy revolves around then for sure you will think the worst and assume that the person will desire to make their fantasy reality.

Ergo why some people think that because this thread has so many hits that it must say something profound about CDs.

I came here just out of curiosity to see how many pages this thread has stretched to. Now I see that some GGs are commenting on the damage this can do but as I read their comments I have spotted what I believe are 2 erroneous assumptions.

If during their marriages the CDing led them to desire men as women, chances are their wives felt this at some level and this was a greater factor in the divorce than a mere dislike of the husband wearing feminine clothing; this, and the CDer's decreasing (or decreased) interest in his wife.

I find this analysis misses the target because of the assumption that CDs will suddenly stumble upon the fantasy during the marriage and this may lead to decreased sexual relations. In reality all CDs fantasize about this idea because it is the ultimate in female role playing. And these thoughts have occupied the minds of CDs since their early adulthood when they became sexually aware/active.

Long before a CD marries the fantasy is already in place. It is hard then to argue that this is a contributing factor to a relationship breakup when it existed at the very start when presumably the sexual attraction was strong. Obviously this excludes situations where the CD is actively making his fantasies reality.

So the profound explanation of this thread is CDs do fantasize about sex with men as a woman and always have since their youth.

In all relationships men and women end up taking each other for granted. Men and women cheat on each other equally. And the idea that women do it for love and affection and men for sex is a myth. Surveys show tons of women do it for the sex and tons of men do it for the love and affection. There is no gender divide on the reasons behind cheating. I believe a lot is being read into normal situation of people growing apart which would have occurred anyway.

If there is a CD contribution to sexual intimacy problems it is that the fantasy is always stronger and more attractive than reality. So as sexual relations decline as they inevitably do in a relationship, the fantasy becomes increasingly more attractive in comparison and the CD's sexual energy is diverted into the role playing. And unlike most men who will struggle to enact their fantasy with a young beautiful woman, a CD is only a wardrobe away from jumping down the rabbit hole. When fantasy role playing is easily and routinely accessible then the draw becomes even more powerful.

If I were a GG my insecurity would be more focused on how my CD partner relates to his dressing habits. The more fantastic and fanciful the dressing, the more it is strictly compartmentalized, the more the CD will be drawn into his fantasy world and will become detached with the real world and his personal responsibilities.

The second point I wish to contest is the notion that it is unfair-impossible for GGs to compete against a CD fantasy of having sex with men. Again this to me says more about the insecurity of the partner than the issue itself.

How does a woman compete against any fantasy of any man? Is she going to have extensive plastic surgery and make her sexually submissive so she can compete with the 18 year old model in the man's mind? Truth is no-one can compete against another person's fantasy. Reality sucks compared to a fantasy so it really does not matter what the subject matter is, it does not affect the outcome.

the fantasizing the preoccuption just SCREAMS MEN.
Sorry just do not get the dwelling on it....but it seems like a
Mars vs. Venus: kinda thing and I relate more to a woman I guess.

Sorry that is nonsense. There is a huge market in female fantasy. 55% of all books sold are romance novels with billions of sales every year. From Wikipedia -

A survey of 600 regular romance readers "found that they mirror the general population in age, education, and marital and socioeconomic status." Over half of the women had at least some college education, and 40% were employed full-time. 60% of the women surveyed read at least one romance every two days. The heart of the U.S. romance novel readership is women aged 31–49 who are currently in a romantic relationship..

Seems many women are preoccupied with fantasies too.