Quote Originally Posted by Tamara Croft View Post
I think you would get on with Ze very well, you kinda remind me of him, in his struggles etc...
It's so funny that you say that, because Ze was my first friend on here! Every time he would respond to my posts, it was as if we were the same person, I've even added him on messenger (though we don't talk much... probably my fault ><) I'm really looking forward to his reply to this, actually =P
Quote Originally Posted by Sheila View Post
just sending you a like Tamara I can no way know how you are feeling, but I do know how my partner reacts to this damn gender dysphoria when she is trying to be the male she needs to be on occasions, she struggles hun and she is 50, but her fem has only been back seriously for 3 years after a 28 year break.

Don't try to label you just be who you are on any given day/hour minute
Wow it's hard to think about struggling with something like this throughout my life. I just kindof want to know who I am... I hate feeling... lost, I guess. But thank you for the kind words. I've always been one to hate labels, yet somehow I just can't avoid giving myself them -sigh-

Quote Originally Posted by Lex View Post
It's like every time I say, "At last, I know who I am," something else inside me decides that it's time to mess me up again by sending me in the other direction and confusing the hell out of me. It's frustrating because when I want to be male I know that I never really can be. Because I keep swinging between the two, changing my body to be male would be a bad idea. So when I want to be male it's really hard on my mind.

And coming back here after being away for so long, there are quite a few guys now on T and transitioning. And I know that that wouldn't really be an option for me but I still really, really want it.
I agree completely. I don't swing between extremes quite as much as you do anymore, but I did a lot in my younger years. Now I'm typically very male... but the feminine side is like an annoying mosquito bite that won't go away. I'll forget about it for a while, and then it'll start itching at me again, and I don't know quite how to satisfy that itch @_@; (haha, sorry if that metaphor was confusing... I think in metaphors)

But what you said about changing your body not being an option cause of the constant switching, and looking at other guys on T, I can relate to that a lot. I feel... afraid to make any permanent change, no matter how badly I want it, because I'm afraid that I'll regret it later on. And I guess it is upsetting to see other guys transitioning, because they all seem so sure of themselves... and I wish I could have that.

Thanks so much for your comments