It's so funny that you say that, because Ze was my first friend on here! Every time he would respond to my posts, it was as if we were the same person, I've even added him on messenger (though we don't talk much... probably my fault ><) I'm really looking forward to his reply to this, actually =P
Wow it's hard to think about struggling with something like this throughout my life. I just kindof want to know who I am... I hate feeling... lost, I guess. But thank you for the kind words. I've always been one to hate labels, yet somehow I just can't avoid giving myself them -sigh-
I agree completely. I don't swing between extremes quite as much as you do anymore, but I did a lot in my younger years. Now I'm typically very male... but the feminine side is like an annoying mosquito bite that won't go away. I'll forget about it for a while, and then it'll start itching at me again, and I don't know quite how to satisfy that itch @_@; (haha, sorry if that metaphor was confusing... I think in metaphors)
But what you said about changing your body not being an option cause of the constant switching, and looking at other guys on T, I can relate to that a lot. I feel... afraid to make any permanent change, no matter how badly I want it, because I'm afraid that I'll regret it later on. And I guess it is upsetting to see other guys transitioning, because they all seem so sure of themselves... and I wish I could have that.
Thanks so much for your comments