My Boyfriend recently told me that he is a crossdresser

[Sara99]

Aw thank you so much Christina.

You know, I quite like the sound of putting aside a specific time for "girl time". My only worry with that is, upto now it has all seemed so spontaneous. There hasnt been any set time where he has always wanted to dress. it could be anytime or no time at all. Saying that I have this afternoon thought about saying to him something along the lines of "on saturday I want us to stay in and have a talk with no distractions. No TV, nothing but us." and make it clear that what I want to talk about is his crossdressing. That way he can prepare for it and know that I will be asking him lots of questions. Do you think this is a good idea? I thought about buying him a special present today and giving it to him tonight, but maybe I could wait until weekend and give it him after we chat, just so that he knows that I am ok with it all.

Can I just say again, the responses Ive have have completely overwhelmed me. In a good way. I am just so very grateful for you all taking time out to help me with this.

Sandra-Leigh, you said some things that really struck home with me. Your fantasy world and what Scott would do in that world I think is a great way to help me understand this. But more than this, your comment "if he succeeds in driving you away then he would drop back to the state of being mentally alone with his cross-dressing" made me cry. I dont want him to be driven away. And the thought of Scott being mentally alone really makes me understand how hard it must of been for him to tell me. I will never let that happen. Not just for him but for me also. Scott means everything to me and it really hurts me to think that this is something that he has had to deal with all on his own. Thats why I want to tell him that I am here for him and I always will be. Thats why I dont want him to shut down towards me when he dresses. Even saying those words out loud on here "when he dresses" is making me realise just how much I can accept it. No matter what he wears, I want him to understand that the person I see in front of me is the person that I love so much. And I want him to show that to me no matter what. I need to feel loved as well and I do when he isnt dressed. I dont when he is. I want him to understand that. Its not that I dont want him to dress up. Its that I too want to feel loved when he does.

Abigail, I dont think Scott is being selfish. Well maybe not intentionally but it has felt like that. It has felt sometimes that I could just walk out of the room when hes dressed and he wouldnt even notice. But from the replies Ive had today I don't now think that is the case at all. I now just think that it he finds it hard to completely be himself or herself. I want him to overcome that because that will be better for me.

Samantha, I will do just that - give him time to get used to dressing around me. When I wrote my first post I couldn't see that. My first post was all about my issues and me coming to terms with it. in one afternoon I now realise that I need to see it from his point of view also.