As I stated earlier, I am a very logically-driver person. I am pursuing a bachelor's of science, and I logical reasoning and the deep-rooted need to understand things has always been within me. Ever since I was little, I would pester anyone and everyone with questions about how things worked or why they were the way they are. The same thing applied to my crossdressing. But I've learned over the past few months that some of these things, emotions in particular, are much more complex and it is often hard to nail them down to any certain roots. It's not like how I can systematically analyze every member of a bridge to see if it will fail and why; I can't do that with my emotions and feelings. So it looks like I will just have to accept that it's just the way that I am. Ultimately, despite my normal need to understand why, I think I have become ok with the fact that that's just the way things are.Originally Posted by Julogden
Welcome! Your story is fairly typical, and as far as we're concerned, you're not a freak, nor are you doing anything wrong.
Some hard-earned advice: don't waste your time trying to figure out "why". In the end, it really doesn't matter why you are a CD or whatever you may be. Just work on accepting who you are. And very important: if at all possible, avoid serious relationships until you have worked out your gender issues to the point where you have a good idea of where you fit into the trans-spectrum. Being in a relationship with someone will complicate matters to a high degree. You need the freedom to explore who you are without taking the feelings of someone else into account when working on issues of this sort.
After you know who you are, be honest with any potential partners. You need to find that special someone who likes you because of who you are rather than in spite of who you are.
Good luck, and I hope you find these forums to be of value.
Carol
And as far as where I stand in the spectrum, I feel totally honest with myself when I say that I'm just a guy who likes to be feminine and dress up as a girl sometimes. A lot of times I love being a normal dude and everything that encompasses, but sometimes I get tired of the same old masculinity and like to switch it up a bit.
And this is making me pretty happy to be able to realize and say all of this. It's been a long few months trying to really figure things out, and I started the journey without a clue of what I was doing or why. But now I definitely feel like I have a good grip on the way I feel, and I'm ok with it! It feels good. :D
