There is no brightline answer here; it seems to depend on the person and the situation.

For those who take the position that you don't have to ever tell, what happens if you’re married or in a long-term relationship and you are in an accident or diagnosed with prostate cancer or something similar? Your s/o finds out that you are transsexual in a moment of extreme stress possibly at a time when immediate medical decisions need to be made. I think Reine is correct and the fact you are transsexual isn't the issue, but the feeling of being betrayed, lied to, not trusting of your s/o enough to tell them, will be a big issue for the s/o. I know many of you will say this is statistically a small chance, but imagine the thousands of people who had to identify their s/o after the twin towers. Learning your s/o was post-op trans would devastate many people. Doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong, feelings just are. To those who take the position that they should never tell, if you love someone, consider the pain you could cause them by not trusting them enough to tell all about yourselves.

The general opinion seems to be the past shouldn't matter, but at the same time Melody is judging Linda on her past. I think the past is part of what makes us who we are today. I was kidnapped and raped as a child. There are certain things I won't do and certain things that affect how I feel and think because of it. If I want who I am with to be a possible long-term friend or a possible physical partner, I am not going to wait until the first hot and heavy kiss and then start discussing it. So, yes, I do talk about it. It affects not only the bedroom, but my opinions on child abuse, on men, on mothers (who allow this to happen); my opinion on many social issues and things we see on TV everyday. For a person to understand me, it helps to understand where I am coming from and why. I had no control over it; it wasn't my fault, any more than having been given the wrong chromosomes is your fault; yet there are a lot of emotional issues tied up in it and that makes it part of who I am. If you leave your past out of your relationships that matter, are you not denying part of who you are and denying the other person the opportunity to really know and understand you as a person?

The fact that I have no embarrassment about saying that my spouse is transsexual to my spouse is a positive thing. As a result, I have had the opportunity to answer questions from friends and promote acceptance and understanding. One thing we do know is that prejudice is often based in and promoted by ignorance. I understand you don't want to be a poster child for GID, but not everyone feels that way.