Just to clarify, the guy whose thread originally inspired me wasn't the least bit "uppity" about his wife's reaction. He was worried that she was going to choose to divorce him, and he was looking for advice. What he got from some was moral condemnation.Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele
I feel pretty tame by comparison. I probably shouldn't judge what other people do by what I didn't do, but unless the person says so, I don't assume that he was carrying on to that extent. I have seen posts like that though. Next time, we get someone asking for advice about saving their marriage, I guess I'll ask just how much damage has been done.The other unpleasant truth is that the urge doesn't go away..it tends to get stronger...there is a strong sexual component for many, and many CDs I know fantasize about it during sex... How can you expect your wife to be unconcerned with this? Many CDs are slowly realizing they are ts, or in denial of being ts ...many CDs sneak out and take risks that they would not take as a guy, many CDs spend a significant amount of money on clothes, makeovers or storage for clothes, and extra days on business trips, this is real stuff...
Is it really? Does she have carte blanche to react as harshly as she likes? Let's say a guy discovers that his wife has been cheating on him, and the two agree that they're going to try to stay together anyway. How harshly is he allowed to react, and still be judged reasonable? Some guys resort to murder, and that's definitely out of bounds, so we'll set that aside. But isn't there a certain level of harshness far short of that that is still just not productive if his intent is to save his marriage? She did a wrong thing, obviously, but just how much can he beat her over the head with it and expect her to stick around?all this is to say that it's just so unfair to be critical of your wife's reaction, even if it seems harsh
The difference, though, is that the wife can and should stop committing adultery, but a crossdresser really can't stop being a crossdresser. If the wife makes the decision to stay, then that's what she's signing up for. There are lots of issues that he can be flexible about in order to accommodate her comfort level, but there has to be an eventual cease fire when it comes to beating him over the head about the lying. A wife who continues to react harshly beyond a certain point isn't acting in a way that's going to save the marriage.
