Quote Originally Posted by VeronicaMoonlit View Post
I think he has some sense of the elephant I think.

But we are not Fighters or Drivers, and a few celebrities does not a change in cultural behavior make.

Yep, and in fact you're one of the few people here I don't consider "traditionally transgendered". Haven't seen BB post here in a while either.

Technically you're a crossdresser, but your basic motivation isn't the same.

I totally disagree with you there, and in fact I've seen the opposite to be true. That the "gender bender crowd" bothers people more than traditional crossdresers do. They understand crossdressers as wanting to be like women at least part of the time, so dressing like women makes sense for someone who wants to be like them some of the time.


Still doesn't mean it's common, or that "ordinary" men are doing it.


But most men have no interest in doing so.


Indeed. Though it's good to see your perspective here, Jamie.

Veronica
Hi Veronica,

Thank you for you perspective which IMHO was about 90 percent correct. You seems to understand what I'm all about and how I'm different.

In the case of fighters, drivers, and athletes wearing feminine items, I disagree with you. For example, many years ago men did not wear earrings and if they did it was only one earring. They certainly didn't wear 2 caret diamond stud earrings in both ears! Now it is commonplace - just look at how many NFL Players are doing this. More and more men - especially the younger generation are wearing earrings. Men operate from a "herd mentality" and are terrified of doing anything that differentiates them from the herd. Sports stars, drivers, fighters, musicians, and other famous men make it seem ok for the everyday man to deviate from the herd.

My Therapist that specializes in gender issues considers me transgendered and a crossdresser. Previously I disagreed with this assessment, but psychology has no other way to classify me even though I only desire the equivalent of a Tomboy (Jane-girl) to be accepted for Men. The only way to make this happen is to get out there and do it like myself, Butterfly Bill, and Sissy Stephanie do every day.

I still disagree regarding full crossdressing being more accepted than gender bending by incorporating some feminine items into an otherwise male presentation for the following reason:

A gender bender is not attempting to deceive folks into thinking that he is a woman. I am a mix of genders that is both male and female but folks can see that I'm clearly of the male sex. All that I'm doing is adding nail polish, capri pants, women's shoes and a purse. Just like when a woman (Tomboy) wears no makeup, a man's shirt, possibly a necktie, and men's shoes (or at least men's style shoes that are made in women's sizes and are called "boyfriend's shoes")

On the other hand, a crossdresser attempts to appear as a woman and to disguise that they are really of the male sex by tucking, wearing thick makeup to eliminate any signs of beard stubble, and wearing entirely feminine clothing. When a the average person clocks a crossdresser, they feel deceived, whereas in my case as a gender bending male, what you see is what you get - just like a Tomboy Woman that incorporates male clothing into her normal presentation while not disguising the fact that she is a woman by wearing a fake mustache or fake beard.

Ordinary men are not like me and are not doing it because they don't have the strong feminine personality within them. It is wonderful when famous straight men gender-bend because it makes it more ok for the male has feminine traits but is entrenched in the male herd mentality. To me, these famous people are heroes because the deviate from the herd mindset and show men that it is ok to do so. Some of these men even write blogs about it. These men will eventually affect change in society for normal men.

I appreciate the folks here taking the time to hear my perspective. In the past my perspective of most crossdressers here has been incorrect. For a long time I was under the impression that most of the crossdressers attempt to pass simply so that they can wear women's clothing and makeup without suffering the ridicule that they would suffer if they wore these items when presenting as a man. I now realize that I was wrong and that the full female presentation is very important to them because it makes them a "complete women" as that is their real desire.

In my case, I have a very strong feminine side that is much stronger than my male side. I would say that I'm 70 percent female and 30 percent male and therefore I really prefer to be referred to as "maam" "rather than "sir" but I get referred to as both.

I hope that one day society will evolve to understand that gender is a continuum and that male and female identify sex, not gender. Society has a long way to go to get to this point because of generations of male conditioning that condemn expression of even the smallest feminine trait. If we stay in the closet and don't get out there and push the envelope, transgendered folks will not make progress. On the other hand, progress for some transgendered folks is to continue dressing and staying deeply closeted. Personally, I can't relate to this but at least I'm learning to respect their perspective.