The elephant in MY room is starting to make some noise

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Are you wearing nail polish???

Holy s#*^, I thought. There's no way he can perceive anything, is there???

When I asked why he would say that, he replied that my nails have a pumpkin-y color to them.

I think he has some sense of the elephant I think.

Sigh. That's all I can do these days. I would come clean to him in a heartbeat if I had my wife's blessing to do so. At this point though, he just keeps missing that bullseye by smaller increments at every shot. It's only a matter of time before he nails it.

He's "YOUR" friend, right? Shouldn't it be your choice to tell. I'm not saying that you shouldn't talk with your wife first, but I think the final decision on telling him should be yours.

Your friend has suspiciously fine discrimination in colour words for a man...

I has the same thought....I mean, how often do you look at another mans feet anyway?

Heh heh. You're thinking what I'm thinking.

I think your post made me realize something about my "mods" as you put it.

None of those things by themselves are going to create an elephant. However, when I begin to look at the combined effect of long hair, pierced ears, necklace, polka dot cell phone cover, pink cigarette lighter, faint hint of girly shampoo/deodorant etc , I think for the first time it dawns on me that when the "mods" start adding up, the story begins to tell itself.

That sounds familiar. I said something similar myself over at mHB a few years back, in fact I called the things like this "lite body mods"

Why not just admit that you like wearing nail polish like a lot of athletes, MMA Fighters, Race Car Drivers and other men have done lately? It is no different than when men first started wearing earrings. Google "men wearing nail polish" and you will see how many celebs and athletes are doing it.

But we are not Fighters or Drivers, and a few celebrities does not a change in cultural behavior make.

Jamie, I cannot believe you aren't sick of me refuting this post of yours that you probably have posted about 1,145 times

You're not the first, in fact I know Jamie and his "Fashion Freedom for Men" perspective from USENET

What I'm talking about is the piling on of these changes and how others perceive them. You know, "walks like a duck...", or in this case, an elephant.

Yep.

I am beginning to understand that there is a very significant difference between folks like myself including Butterfly Bill, and Sissy Stephanie that are just feminine guys that present as a guy but wear women's clothing and makeup and the Crossdresser that attempts to present as a woman.

Yep, and in fact you're one of the few people here I don't consider "traditionally transgendered". Haven't seen BB post here in a while either.

I am still not sure if I'm really a crossdresser because I just incorporate feminine items into my male presentation just as some women incorporate men's clothing into their normal female presentation.

Technically you're a crossdresser, but your basic motivation isn't the same.

I feel that there there may be a lot less stigma associated with male that incorporates feminine items into a male presentation than a Crossdresser that attempts to appear and pass as woman.

I totally disagree with you there, and in fact I've seen the opposite to be true. That the "gender bender crowd" bothers people more than traditional crossdresers do. They understand crossdressers as wanting to be like women at least part of the time, so dressing like women makes sense for someone who wants to be like them some of the time.

In fact, straight males that wear nail polish, skirts, and other feminine attire have been in the new quite a lot lately.

Still doesn't mean it's common, or that "ordinary" men are doing it.

As for "blazing my trail" I believe that my trail can be summed-up as "Fashion Freedom for Men"

Been a while since I saw that phrase. :-)

The road is paved by men that are willing to incorporate feminine items into their otherwise male appearance and to wear those items openly.

But most men have no interest in doing so.

I believe that is the only way the crossdressing with ever be accepted by the general public.

I disagree with that sentiment.

The easiest way for me to describe my POV is that I'm all good with the gender binary society we live in, I was simply drafted to the wrong team.

That phrasing describes me as well.

And You admit that you got drafted in the wrong team! No more middle path terminology for you, Missy, you're a non-transitioning transsexual...at the moment. And I'm only partly kidding on that you know.

Your angle is different from that of a CD'er who's might be different from a "middle-pather" (whether that MP self-identifies as CD or TS) which of course is much different from that of the transitioning TS, and so on.

Indeed.

I'm not looking for a blurring of the gender lines. I don't look at other men and think they have too few fashion choices or that they need to wear makeup or nail polish. They are just fine the way they are, both aesthetically and the fact they are perfectly content being...men. The gender binary makes sense for most. We will always be outliers to some extent.

Exactly.

I am clearly in the minority on crossdressers.com because I really don't want to pass or don't care about presenting as a woman. My ultimate goal is for society to accept feminine males in the same manner that it accepts Tomboys. Hopefully, one day this will happen, but it will not happen if the vast majority of us are closeted.

Let me put it this way. Quite a few people here, deep down...don't identify as male, they identify as women. And I'm not just referring to the acknowledged TS's. I'm referring to those I call the "proto-TS" that just haven't figure it out yet, and to some that KNOW They're TS's but call themselves CD's and believe they will never transition because of their sense of family responsibility. These people aren't feminine males, they're women or identify as such in their hearts.

I cannot expect you and other folks here to push the envelope in male-mode because that is not what you are about.

Right.

The problem is that the "fem male" (like me) is in the minority of a minority. In other words, crossdressers are a minority in society, and the fem male is a very small minority of the crossdresser subset.

Jamie

Indeed. Though it's good to see your perspective here, Jamie.

Veronica