Oops, if it helps, I cried too.Originally Posted by Badtranny
Raquel makes some really good points and to extend on that.
Angie, you need to prepare yourself for the worse. That is if she transitions will you stay.
Give yourself an honest answer to this question: are you soul mates?
Meaning, are you co-joined at the soul. If you are, then physical awareness is irrelevant and you can have a wonderful life together no mater would destiny does to your shells.
You can love each other and still not be soul mates. You may think you married a man, but in truth you married a person (a woman) who was in a man's body. The same person after transition will just be in an altered body. Perhaps some mannerisms will change as well but at the core she is the same person. If you are soul mates, then the body does not matter.
I suppose any number of things could have happened to alter the body, being transsexual is just one of them and so happens to be the one we all got stuck with. Is it worse than the woman who loses her husband in a car accident or some serious medical condition? I don't know the answer to that, and I sure do not want to find out the hard way, but I do wonder if it is a better then finding out they are trans. I have no perspective on this except I know what happened to my dad is definitely not better. His condition was incurable, at lease mine is. What are your thoughts on that?
Your husband didn't know this was going to happen any more than that person killed in a car accident knew they were going to die that day. It is crud and it just happens. Did we have clue? Sure, but not much different then that person climbing in the car with a drunk driver. We all have clues we just do not always know how to decipher them.
My thoughts, forget about what you think others will think and make a decision based on what you feel and what you feel alone. I know it is not an easy decision. In fact, it is much harder than the decision to transition. For me and I am sure for most, if not all that the ultimate decision to transition was life or death. That made it simple for us. I don't envy your position in the least. The outcome of your decision is a varying degree of sadness all around. Living with the person you fell in love with as a woman when you are not a lesbian. That can't be easy. Or living without the person you fell in love with. There is no win scenario there.
Oddly the scenario was the same from the other side. To not transition and to die either physically or internally is sadness to those left in the wake, or to transition and there is sadness in the loss of a wonderful relationship.
This is so complex. My wife and I decided to separate and start a whole new relationship with each other. We believe once we get past the separation that we could be some really great friends who had a wonderful past together. Well with the exception of the last 5 years perhaps.
Good luck and I shall say a prayer for you.
