HI Almoni,
I'm a few years older than you and also a devoted husband to my wife and loving father to two young children. I know how difficult it can be to fit crossdressing into such a life. Given that your wife has known for 15 years, I don't see her attitudes changing much in the future. However, I think she is being very unfair with the "you can't dress without me" and "you can't dress with me" stance you describe. You need to be able to find a compromise that works for both of you. Find out what bothers/worries her most and discuss boundaries that you can both live with.
One final thing, how often do you do something thoughtful for her? Did you express your sincere gratitude after getting to go to RHPS? Maybe you need to give up some of your other hobbies so that the balance of time away from her and family is lessened? Or if you are in the stage where work and raising kids basically takes up the time that you are not sleeping, maybe you need to take a break, and approach it again when life has gotten easier. She may be more flexible if you do more "giving" and less "taking."
Jamie
