Why do nonsupportive SOs do this??

I was reading some posts at another forum where women rant about how the problems they have with their CDHs. There seems to be three major themes:
1. Why did they conduct this deception against me for so long? This is generally followed by saying that they couldn't have been heterosexual and they have serious mental problems. (Actually most CDs did not tell their SOs because they never told anyone. They tried and tried to heal themselves, and they hoped it would go away once they got married. By the time they tell their SOs it is because they have decided not to fight this anymore.)
2. Then the women blame themselves for their man's condition. They believe they should have been able to fulfill all of their man's sexual needs, and if their man is getting gratification from cross-dressing then he must be cheating. He is using objects as a substitute for his need for human intimacy. (Actually most cross-dressers have been this way long before they hit puberty. This condition was hard-wired into their brains before they were conscious of their sexuality. So its not merely a matter of fulfilling a sexual need.)
3. Finally the women see their husband's female alter-ego as competition. They'll say, "He's a narcissist - he is in love with himself as a woman. How can I compete against that?" Then they give their cross-dressing man the big ultimatum, "either 'she' goes, or I do." (No cross-dressers would ever have this "either/or" perspective. They want both/and. They want their gg to participate in their cross-dressing adventures. They fantasize about shopping, and socializing with their wives when they cross-dress.)

If more women would understand that this condition is (1) not part of insidious deception, (2) not their fault, and (3) not their competition, then we (cross-dressers) would have much less problems with non-supportive wives. Am I missing some other major issues? I would be interested in your perspectives and interested in your recommendations about how these problems should be resolved.