Long time member - back after 16 years - I'm trapped.

[Bea_]

Dutchess,

I always appreciate that you give your perspective here on the forum. I've read many of your posts and have seen that your past relationships with crossdressers have been fairly traumatic and I can sympathize. I hate to know that anyone has faced betrayal and disrespect.

What happened is ,instead of saying "landing" you , she allowed it because she was in love with you and did not want to lose you is more likely ..

It's our human nature to love the things about an intimate partner that we see as beneficial to ourselves and our image of ourselves. Whether it's physical attractiveness, hard work, public standing, etc... we tend to value those things that we feel give us an increased sense of value for ourselves.

Notwithstanding, abuse and infidelity, to love the benefits and reject the rest doesn't really meet my definition of love. The man who loves my wife dearly is totally male, but totally atypical. That fact has cost me dearly in intimacy and respect. It makes me sad for my wife that she's married to a man who falls so short of her expectations and in supporting her own self image.

There are alot of behaviors that come along with dressing that are the big turn offs .

You seem to generalize about crossdressing based on your past and on certain posts here on the forum. I get that and see it as a natural response. But, wearing leggings and a cute blouse doesn't necessarily lead to those behaviors. We each have our own pasts and sometimes the behaviors of others in our pasts will encourage us to experiment in order to find a new, more accurate self image.